oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
