Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
