Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
