Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
