Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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