Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
