Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
