i just wanna soil my oats bro
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
