found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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