Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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