i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
