Tell her she can't have a vagina
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
