you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
