A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
