after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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