she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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