It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
