They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
