32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Two words: blizzard sex
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
