I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
