I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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