so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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