The maid of honor just puked.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize