i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
