pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize