Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just high enough for therapy.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
