My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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