I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
