Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
