It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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