1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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