I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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