Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
