We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
