Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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