And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
