That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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