The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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