Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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