i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
