I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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