please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
