that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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