There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
