So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
