Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
