Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
