If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
