Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
