didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
