She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
