Well apparently he's into motor boating.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
