Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
