so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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