I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
