I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
